


She's Next

by amfrei



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 03:44:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4164459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amfrei/pseuds/amfrei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen expects a nice evening with his Inquisitor and gets something much different instead. (one-shot)</p>
            </blockquote>





	She's Next

Cullen leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. A huge, loud yawn escaped his mouth, and he didn’t even bother trying to hide it. He blinked sleepily a few times and looked at the cup on his desk. The spymaster gave it to him with the promise of a memorable evening with his Inquisitor, followed by a long night of restful sleep. Cullen himself was familiar with herbs, but his own gardening interests focused more on flowers. To anyone who asked, Cullen had always enjoyed gardening. In truth, he started growing flowers because of the love that was growing in his heart for the Inquisitor.

Cullen stood and glanced out the window. His lover was not heading to his chambers yet, so he let the drink sit for a few minutes longer. When the sky grew dark enough and the moon shone overhead, Cullen knew his Inquisitor would soon arrive. He at last drank from his cup. He could only stomach half of the horrible-tasting stuff, and he hoped that it would be enough for the evening. Cullen was proud of himself for not spitting out, but he almost immediately felt its effects.

“This doesn’t feel right. I feel more alert, but I also feel incredibly sick. I… I feel like I can’t breathe.” Cullen desperately rubbed his face with his sweaty hands. His eyes darted around the room, which now seemed to be spinning.

“Maker’s breath. My heart is racing. I feel like Sera’s lit my clothes on fire again.” The commander tugged at his collar and ripped off his furs. He stripped down to only his breeches and shoes then immediately began pacing around his office. “I still feel like I’m going to faint, but also like I could run. Maybe I could run all the way back to Haven. Should I run to Haven? It’s been a while, surely the embers have burned out by now. But what if they haven’t? I’ll be even hotter, or run into a little nest of dragons, and a mother dragon, and another ancient magister, and then –“

“Commander? Are you okay? You look… terrible.”

Cullen stopped abruptly and spun around to face one of the doors to his office. The Inquisitor stood there, his Inquisitor. He smiled and ran over to her. She started to smile, then quickly frowned.

“You are soaked with sweat, my dear. Perhaps we could go upstairs and do something about that?”

Cullen stared at her, eyes wide open. He shook his head erratically and began pacing again. “No no no, I can’t I can’t I can’t. I feel like I may pass out but I need to go run around the courtyard a few times. I just need to finish my drink first. It’s wonderful, a new brew that Leliana recommended I sample. I will surely feel better if I just finish it, I’m sure of it.”

Cullen and the Inquisitor both glanced at the mug on Cullen’s desk, which was half-empty. Cullen fanned his face while his lover approached the desk. She picked up the cup and sniffed the contents. She made a face.

“Cullen, I think your drink is laced with elfroot. A lot of elfroot” Cullen shot her a slightly puzzled look. The Inquisitor continued. “With a high enough dosage of just the right variety of the herb, it can be a potent… stimulant.”

Cullen nodded repeatedly and began walking around the room again. “So so you – you’re saying I’m what, high?” He managed to look at the Inquisitor, who nodded and did her best to hide a smirk. “But but but I got that from Leliana! You don’t think she would have…”

“Oh I think she did. Apparently she is not my only advisor with extensive herbal and floral knowledge. It does make sense though, Cullen. You know what she used to do for the Divine.”

Cullen gasped a few times, leaning against the wall for support. “I can’t believe that she did this to me! She told me it was an enhancement brew!”

The Inquisitor laughed and patted Cullen’s heaving chest. “Well, it enhanced something, just apparently not what you had in mind.” She gestured to the ladder leading to his chambers. “Let’s go upstairs, I’ll help you change into something dry, and you can just sleep off the effects.”

Cullen shook his head and walked slowly to the door. “No no, I still need to run around for a bit, or do something for a while. I feel… yes, run.” He slowly opened the door, then took off at full speed.

The Inquisitor stood there for a moment, just dumbfounded. She straightened up Cullen’s messy desk so it was just the way he liked it. She then took his unfortunate drink and dumped it out the window. As she walked away from the window and out of the office, she thought she heard someone below the window protest loudly. She chose to ignore it.  
As she shut the door to Cullen’s office, the Inquisitor chuckled slightly as she imagined Leliana admiring her handiwork in the courtyard.

 

The next morning, one of Leliana’s scouts knocked on the door to the commander’s office. He knocked a second time, much louder. The scout finally banged both fists on the door, but no one answered. “Commander? This is Scout Bradley, and I am entering your office now!” The scout slowly opened the door and peered inside, then quickly wished he hadn’t.

The commander was sprawled out on his desk, completely bare. His arms fell over the end of the desk, and his butt was proudly highlighted by the morning light. His left leg twitched a few times, finally knocking over two books and a roll of parchment. The commander’s snores resembled the cry of a hurlock.  
The scout bravely tiptoed into the room, doing his best not to look at Cullen. He was staring firmly up at the ceiling, and consequently tripped over something. The something moved.

The fully-clothed Inquisitor was sitting next to the desk by Cullen’s leg that wasn’t twitching. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and her legs were now also crossed. A sweaty-looking blanket sat next to her, apparently having fallen off the commander at some point. The scout froze, then stared wide-eyes at the Inquisitor.

“Leave now and I won’t tell Cullen you saw him like this. Tell Leliana she’s next.”

The Inquisitor heard the door slam shut before she drifted back to sleep.


End file.
